I have thought of every excuse not to do the things I need to do today. Can't work on my computer because I'm eating breakfast. Can't work out because I just ate. Can't take a walk because I'm on the phone. Can't mow the lawn because my phone battery is dead and I would have no music. Now I've plugged in my phone and I'm hungry.
Repeat.
Last night, Groom needed a hand moving a boat, so he picked up some sandwiches from Big Top and we had a little dinner at the dock around 9:00. It was a late supper (bad) and I vowed to do right by my health today.
First thing this morning, I ate a small leftover bag of Utz potato chips (bad)--they were staring at me with such evil intent--followed by two pieces of oat toast (not good). Because I couldn't work out on a full stomach, I sat at my computer to work. My phone rang, so I stepped outside to chat--we have no reception in the house--and I had to have gotten in at least a mile's worth of pacing. My phone died and I broke into some leftover cheese with a side of Quadratini hazelnut cookies. If it's from Europe I can eat it, right? I suppose I should have asked this question earlier in this life experiment because I've been sucking back the Nutella. And, yes, I know. Nutella is only part of a nutritious breakfast.
I think European food should be fine. Please don't tell me otherwise or we'll have to revoke my Euroweenie-phile status and then what will I have? Just a bunch of Fox News and a pile of old PJ O'Rourke books that I bought at Wal*Mart.
I'm kidding. I don't shop at Wal*Mart.
Haha. I don't watch Fox Newsertainment either.
Hey, did you hear the Franklin County chamber of commerce is moving into the Wal*Mart in Farmington, Maine? Yes, that's a sure sign we live in a socialist society, just so long as we continue to spell it c-o-r-p-o-r-a-t-o-c-r-a-c-y.
Sorry sorry. My leanings are showing. I want to explain something. I was in the honors program government relations class when I was in high school. It's exactly what you imagine--very Dead Poets Society with a bunch of Mona Lisa Smile and maybe a hint of The Great Debaters, except I went to a very white high school. We had one Japanese exchange student and one student who may have had a bit of a Czechoslovakian heritage?
Our teacher, Mr. K, used to demand we debate everything from the death penalty to abortion and from communism to capitalism--even if we didn't agree with the topic we were debating. I learned from that class, more than anything, to appreciate both sides of an argument. I wanted to go into politics and even joined one of those "go to Washington and see how it all works" study tours. I knew, however, I would never be an effective (read "electable") politician because I want so desperately to understand why my opposition thinks the way it does, and if someone's argument is solid, I might change my mind. I believe in today's parlance, that's defined as "waffling."
Before I misrepresent myself as some great thinker, I should mention a story: One week, this teacher told the class if we wore red to school on Friday, he would give us extra credit. He reminded us every day. Wear something red if you want extra credit. Tell your friends to wear something red. If you don't wear red, you will fail.
Friday rolled around and everyone was wearing red...except me. The lesson for the day was group think. He was trying to teach us about peer pressure, about questioning authority, and about thinking for ourselves. This was during the Cold War before the Berlin Wall had fallen, when Billy Joel was talking about the fire, Phil Collins was lamenting our land of confusion, Sting was all nervous about an unwinnable war, and even Morrisey was afraid of the bomb. Red Friday symbolized Communism and, I would imagine by extension, Soviet Communism. (Red Friday also refers to a strike that led to a nine-month subsidy for British miners in the mid-1920s, but I'm unclear on the impact of that agreement and its implications for a bunch of high-school students in the mid-1980s, so it's more of a digression here.)
At any rate, I got the extra credit for not wearing anything red that day. What I never admitted was, as I got dressed that morning, I had simply forgotten it was Friday.
Anyway, the lesson that really got through to me was the day Mr. K drew a horizontal solid line on the chalkboard with a "D" on the left end, an "R" on the right end, and a circle in the middle. He then asked everyone to pick a side of the line. I stated I was the "big zero in the middle." My classmates wouldn't let me live it down.
My point is this, as silly as my being a zero may seem, you can change my mind about most things political if you debate with facts and intelligence, but certain recent public statements from certain "R" (and third party "L") politicians have made me start to look very closely at what's happening around us. And, the closer I look, the more agitated I become. Enough with the memes about Obama taking 40% of your paycheck to give it to lazy people and the memes about Romney never holding a job. Stop using illegitimate arguments about birth certificates to distract people from legitimate discussions.
Speaking of, I'd like to apologize in advance for some legitimate statements I will probably allow to leak from my legitimate fingers as I continue on this legitimate daily activity blog. But, for now, you'll have to excuse me because my phone is fully charged, my stomach is no longer too full, and though I live with my lawn and I do desperately try to sweet talk my lawn into maintaining itself at a manageable few inches off the ground, it turns out I'm going to have to force that stupid bitch into submission with my mower.
It'll be okay. I'll plant some flowers along the trim to make it all better.
Yikes. This was a Crazy Train rant. And, by the way? Even Ozzy was talking about the unrest in the '80s. It was all around us growing up. You'd think this Gen X'er Heir of the Cold War would be a little more fired up right now instead of only paying attention to my weight and my 401K.
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